Congratulations Old White Man

You've made my list. I've had a bone to pick for quite a while now, been stowing this angst for far too long. Lately, the old white man has been a real annoyance. Look, I respect the fact that you fought for our country in WWII, Korea, Vietnam or whatever war appears on your mesh baseball hat. Really, I do; both my grandpas were vets. That does not give you, however, the free reign to ask where the hydrogen peroxide is whenever you want. Peeking over some unsuspecting young lady's shoulder and smellily asking where the whereabouts of hydrogen peroxide is just downright creepy. Also, I'm guessing it's not your first foray into the hydrogen peroxide experiments. I don't want to know what you are using it for, nor do I care. The hydrogen peroxide is probably where it's been for the last 50 years since you've been buying it - the first aid section. See my previous article about shopping and your son with the shiny jacket.

Why do you need new shoelaces all the time? Why do you think they are kept in the pharmacy? I don't know what passed for medication in the service, but I don't think it had anything to do with shoelaces. Usually, when I need new shoelaces, my shoes have far surpassed their use. Usually, a snapped lace is a signal for me to get new kicks. Not you. You'll hang on to those scrappy loafers until the soles have worn through. They're in aisle 5 I think. Maybe aisle 7. I'm not sure, you'd think I'd know by now. I'm gonna learn that the next time I traverse to the bathroom at work.

Your copay has nothing to do with Obama. Really. He does happen to be half not the color of your skin. He has nothing to do with your copay. He may have some radical ideas. I may not agree with them, but it's not because of his skin color. I don't agree with some of his policies, which have nothing to do with his heritage. Look, I know every drug in the world should cost no more than $1.75 in your eyes, but it's just not so. This has nothing to do with our president. I understand he looks different from you and me, but he hasn't had any influence on your copay. If you want to blame someone, it's GW, not Obama.

To conclude, old man, you don't get to be crotchety just because. The world is not out to get you. I have no agenda, and I don't know how to make your medicine cost less. If I did, I would do it so I wouldn't have to have the same pointless conversation. This is not a negotiation, it is a copay; know the difference. At least you get a discount at Denny's.

I don't. I have to pay fully price for the "Moons over my Hammy." You think about that, old man.