I Wish I Was Lying.

People do say and think the darnedest things. That's a pretty blunt and bland statement to say the least. My creativity has been drained. Countless hours trying to dispel the same myths and thoughts of folks not trained in the pharmaceutical sciences has taken it's toll. I'm not trying to sound mightier than thou or as if I'm God's gift to the world. That said, I definitely am smarter than at least two people I've encountered the last two days.

It was a Friday and the masses were huddling and jockeying for their weekend controlled substances. It's as if a gumball rally had marked my pharmacy as it's destination. Mired in prescriptions and phone calls, there she appeared. She was docile this day, but her words were confusing.

"I have a bagel of prescriptions to drop off," she said.

Now, I was working with 2 techs at the time and one heard "bagel" and the other didn't want to think he heard "bagel," but ultimately did. I can only assume she meant to say gaggle, but she said "bagel." Much like the boiled then baked traditionally Jewish delight, the ribbing would be delicious. I didn't know what direction to take this one. I took the high road and made analogies of other baked goods in ratio to large amounts of things.

• I have a knish of phone calls to make
• I just rang out a pastry heart of people at the counter
• We are selling a cookie of silly-bands
• That is a danish of Lortab for one person to take
• I have to fill a donut of refills for him
• That is a muffin of money for so few tablets
• Feel free to add your own baked good analogy in the comments

The second person asked me for diabetic socks. Yep. So I asked if he was looking for support stockings? No. Socks, but for diabetics. I asked what they were made of. He said "socks." I then told him I was not aware of such a product. I did tell him to check in "SkyMall." They have everything; even the "arthritis gloves" some lunatic was looking for last month. Boy, was my face red. I am going to market a line of cotton socks (breathable) and have the word "DIABETIC" stitched across the toeline and at the top of the crew. Then, I'll be a millionaire, as the rate of diabetics is exponentially soaring and they all need socks.

I've lost my mind. Carry on, carry on.