I hava quick question....

No, you don't. That's what I'm gonna say the next time someone leans around and rudely chirps at me. You see, quick question asker, quick questions are rapid in nature. "Quickies," as I like to call them, really mean they want to waste some of your time. But, asking "Can I waste some of your time?" doesn't sound quite as enticing.

Acceptable Quick Questions:

• where's the Benadryl?
• how late are you open?
• what's the square root of 49?
• what time is it?
• what time do you open?
• and so on

UNacceptable "Quick" Questions/scenarios:

• where's the bathroom? (don't fucking ask me - just look; it's probably where there's not shit on shelves waiting to be bought. If you see a door-sized opening in the merchandise, look in there. If there's a lock with a combination key pad, you can't go in there. Another hint: it's not in the aisles)
• nothing that starts with: yeaaahhh, uhhhh, my mom said....
• nothing that starts with: yeaaaahh, uhhhh, my doctor said.....
• I was wondering if you could help me? (already again not with the quickness)
• anything pertaining to a fictitious product which may or may not help an ailment (e.g. coconut burn oil cream facewash)
• do not pause after stating you have a quick question - very common. This ensures that your inquiry is not rapid in any way, shape or form
• and so on

Changing gears, I have a beef with those whom solicit my opinion only for argument's sake. To clarify, don't ask my "expertise" only to argue with me. I know my shit and you have no idea what an antihistamine is or does. I know it's hard to trust someone with nothing to gain when the makers of the product with everything to gain market it to your ignorance. To clarify, that means that the box is a fucking liar. It is not just for allergy. It will not actually decongest. No, pseudoephedrine won't help a runny nose. No, it won't. Really. Look, if you don't choose to agree with me, then so be it. Just don't argue with me. Simply say "thanks" or "whatever" and buy what you want. It's no skin off my nose, I don't have to put up with your sniffling, stuffy, sick ass at home. If you'd like to buy a box of walking mucous with a suitcase, fine. Just know that your mucous doesn't have luggage, nor does it wear a suit nor a hat.

Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask them.